Confessions of an Intergalactic Sex Slave

Jenniferhudson

She's been FUCKING FABULOUS the entire awards seasons and she picks NOW.... TONIGHT... to wear a costume that looks like a reject from a Disney Broadway musical??  Pockets AND a tin-foil crop jacket?  I just threw up a little.  A lot.  Stop the madness and please.... for the love of god Jennifer... if you want to see how to rock Oscar night... check out my girls Hellen Miren and Cate Blanchet (divas, divas, divas).

i've been at it now for three weeks. i've stopped, started, meditated, explored, re-examined, regrouped, pontificated, read self-help books, discussed with friends, accepted support from said friends, prayed, remained stubbornly diligent but the fact of the matter is

i can't finish this script

i just can't do it

now, i'd like to dissapear, forget about the script, the person in los angeles expecting it and myself

i give up

Woke up to eight dump-trucks sitting beneath my window serenading me in my second-floor apartment—a melody of roaring engines and belches of exhaust fumes wafting through my sanctified space.

I stormed downstairs to the construction site next door expecting a fight from the Manager (Jason) and Foreman (Tommy). This is New York—heated exchanges of words drenched in witty sarcasm is par for the course in confrontations. Instead, I got smiles and cooperation.

The truckers shut off their engines immediately.

I now fantasize about having sex with Jason and Tommy in the sunken belly of the construction site.

It took the doctors two days to persuade me to leave the comforts of my mother's womb.  I'm pretty sure that after torturing my mother for 48 hours (something I've paid for my entire life), I was less than enthused with the results of such an arduous process and the subsequent negotiations that it took to yank me from mom's coochie.

The first thought I had that day after reluctantly agreeing to partake in the “life on planet earth” party (and I don't remember much from my birth or "crash landing" as I like to call it) was:  "I've been hoodwinked, scammed, bamboozled!"

Whatever.  I'm here now and I, like the rest of humanity, have embraced denial while still clinging hopelessly to hope.  I will try to make sense of this nonsense as best I can.  We're all intergalactic suckers.